what the will you turn off that, that noise!
by degree of awesomness
Summary: Elizabeth and Will are wisked off to a strange land filled with phones, cheeseburgers and fries. where's the jam, what's this jelly? can they find there way back to jam and the black pearl with the help of alex and her friends? And does Jack join in?
1. What the heck is a phone?

Elizabeth's POV

"Come on Will," I called out to my fiancé, come the ship's going to leave if we take any longer!" We were sent to find some treasure chest on one of the cannibal islands but personally I think they sent me off so they could gorge themselves with rum. Eventually the cannibals would find out that we are here so it was probably in our best interests to scram. "Will? Where are you?" I looked around, I was all alone…

"Boo!"

"!"

"!"

"IDIOT, don't you ever scare me like that, will, because if you ever do I will take away your ability to have kids!" I screamed to Will furiously.

"Quiet down Elizabeth, I was only playing around." He replied in a soothing voice that still took my breath away, I was about to reply with something cocky when we heard a rustle, then a pause, and then "yaya arggggggggggggggggggggg foooooooooooood!"

"RUN!"

We sprinted away from the sounds as fast as we could when we found a small cave, "in here!" Yelled Will. We rushed inside only to be blinded by a huge white light.

We were rocked up down and I'm pretty sure I vomited at least twice. This went on for what seemed ages when finally it stopped.

We looked around us only to find a completely different scene with buildings and strange carriages, a sign showed the words 'Sea view high school'. That was the last thing I saw before I blacked out.

Will's POV

A bell rung and then teenagers swarmed out of buildings.

"hey dude, what's up, you need to use my phone or something?" asked a girl anxiously, she had curly black hair down to the small of her back, and quite a pretty face, the last thing I saw before fainting was her stunning light hazel eyes, not unlike Elizabeth's.


	2. curly hair, hazel eyed girl

Curly haired, hazel-eyed girl's POV

Ok this is really weird, I was just walking out of class when I saw this man on the ground clutching a women looking around like seeing kids is a weird thing, but that's not all, there clothes looked like they had just come of a set of a 15th century England. I know mom told me not to talk to strangers but they were in need and anyway, tomorrow I would be going to be parent free! Focus Alex!

"Hey dude, what's up, you need to use my phone or something?" I asked anxiously, things were getting really weird when he gave me this weird look and then fainted, just like that! I had a weird feeling that I shouldn't bring to nurse Monroe just yet, then, as if on impulse I dragged the two to a corner that I knew no one would come to and felt their pulses. They were both alive but they just not waking up!

"Hey, Alex, where were you at lunch, we've been looking for you for ages!" came a familiar voice, so much for no one finding me here. I turned around only to find my two best friends in the whole entire world, Andy and Kate. We had been friends since we were six and we were absolutely inseparable. Andy was your typical Californian surfer dude with his blonde hair that was messy yet heart-breakingly elegant and baby blue eyes that would melt a statue's heart. Oh don't get me wrong, I love Andy but as a brother or a friend, we weren't each other's types. Kate was African American and just being around her took a rip of other girls' self esteems. She had beautiful warm brown eyes, high cheekbones, just like a models, and to be quite frank a darn pretty face. I wasn't jealous of my friends, I'm really self-assured.

"I-I'm fine," I replied shakily, "do you guys know there people, they just sort of fainted on me, don't know what to do with them."

"Hmm, I wonder what to do with two people who have just fainted." Kate said in her usual sarcastic voice.  
>"Kate's right," said Andy, " how come you didn't take 'em to the nurse's?"<p>

"I don't know, I just can't bring myself to do it, it doesn't feel right," I replied staunchly, " I was walking from math to science when I saw them in a corner, the girl had fainted but the guy was looking around like a school was the strangest thing they had ever seen, I walked over and asked him if he wanted to use my phone when he just stares at me weirdly and faints!"


	3. Montecco I

_"I don't know, I just can't bring myself to do it, it doesn't feel right," I replied staunchly, " I was walking from math to science when I saw them in a corner, the girl had fainted but the guy was looking around like a school was the strangest thing they had ever seen, I walked over and asked him if he wanted to use my phone when he just stares at me weirdly and faints!"_

_"Hang on, they're waking up!"…  
><em>

* * *

><p>Elizabeth's POV<p>

I woke up with a headache the size of the black pearl, I felt like my head was being split up. Groaning, I opened my eyes grudgingly only to be met with a blinding sunlight and three worried faces looking at me, Will was next to me and he seemed fine. I looked over to the three and I noticed that they were wearing super weird garments; I can't even describe them myself. Finally one of them, a boy, spoke.

"Hey lady, you all right?" asked the boy, he was quite good-looking with blonde hair, blue eyes and sun-browned skin.

"Where am I,"I asked, my voice guarded, "what have you done to my fiancé?"

"Relax, we aren't going to do anything, but we do have a couple questions for you guys," said a black girl, the first thing you could notice about her was her beauty, she had warm brown eyes and high cheek bones with curly brown hair down to her shoulder "where'd you guys come from, and how come you're in those weird outfits?"

Before I got the chance to answer Will started to cough and fluttering his eyes. "W-what is a"-

"WILL, YOU'RE OKAY!"

"y-yes, what happened, wait, don't answer that, what's a phone," Will asked, then his eyes widened as he took in the girl with curly black hair and hazel eyes, "y-you, who are you."

"That's not important," I interrupted "what's important is where we are and how do we get back."

"Chill, lady, let's have some food first and then we can get on those details, 'kay?" said the blonde boy.

I was about to give him a piece of me for calling me 'lady' when the hazel eyed girl interrupted.

"Wait a second do I know you? Never mind we should introduce ourselves, I'm Alex Turner, walking food disposal unit is Andy morrison and the model is Kate Sanders, now your turn." Alex said giving both of us a suspicious glance.

"Right," Will said hesitantly, he obviously didn't want to give his name out after that, "well I am Will... er, Norrington! Yes, the name's William Norrington and this is my fiance Elizabeth Swann."

I nodded at them and whispered to Will, "Norrington, you could't do a shade better and make us siblings, would have been easiest!"

He looked at me in horror, "but then how am I supposed to kiss you?" he said as if it was a daily need. And I rolled my eyes and we continued to bicker.

* * *

><p>Kate's POV<p>

These people were really weird, all we asked was their names and they had to go and have a whisper argument. I thought of suggesting to Andy and Alex to turn 'em over to the police, but it just didn't seem right, it ws clear that they don't belong here, but at the same time, I got the feeling it would take a little more than a aeroplane ticket to take them back. I looked over and they were still bickering, I pulled Andy and Alex aside.

"What do you guys think?" I muttered.

"They're pretty weird," Andy said, "but, I don't know what to make of them, and I don't think any of us want to send them to the police, or for that matter, any kind authority, including moms."

I nodded in agreement and looked over to Alex who had been really quiet for the past 5 minutes, and if you knew Alex Turner as well as me and Andy did then you would know that this girl can't keep her mouth shut for like 30 seconds.

"Ally," I said cautioulsy using my nickname for her, "What's up?"

She flinched at the sound of my voice as if she wasn't expecting it, "It's nothing, I just can't shake off the feeling that I've seen them somewhere, in a movie? No, ummm, I'll tell you when I figure out, 'kay?"

"Cool," Andy said, "but where should we take them"

"Well how about that vacation home our parents rented for the three of us, we could drive there now, we could just make it in time for curfew?" suggested Alex.

"That could work, I said slowly, " but we're going to have to miss our last period to make it back on time."

"Then it's settled," Alex said cheerfully "we skip history and we take them to Montecco!"

We both rolled our eyes, skipping lessons was what Alex does best!

* * *

><p>Alex's POV<p>

Swann and Norrington loaded into the backseats of Andy's old and beat up volksvagen whispering words of astonishment at the car, "Its amazing architecture, how come there is no horse..."

Me and Kate played a game of rock, paper, scissors to detemine who goes shotgun and now I am stuck with weirdo and weirdee, but I still can't shake off the feeling that I've seen them before, or perhaps seen a picture? I don't know.

Montecco is a tiny town down the coast so tiny that you would miss it if you were driving more than 20mps, serious. Every summer Andy, Kate's and my parents rented it for us for 1 month of the summer. It's great and we've made plenty of friends in there, it's about 3 hours away driving and right now just by doing this we were taking a great risk, if we were caught then we'd be dead meat and our Montecco trip would be cancelled, but we weren't going to be caught, thanks to me. You see, I can forge almost anyone's handwriting and can do 80 diffrent styles of writing so I got us all covered, family businesses... bla bla bla. A huge smile that would give a chershire cat a run for its money began to grace Kate and Andy faces and I'm pretty sure my face was any better, we had arrived.


	4. Montecco II

Montecco is a tiny town down the coast so tiny that you would miss it if you were driving more than 20mps, serious. Every summer Andy, Kate's and my parents rented it for us for 1 month of the summer. It's great and we've made plenty of friends in there, it's about 3 hours away driving and right now just by doing this we were taking a great risk, if we were caught then we'd be dead meat and our Montecco trip would be cancelled, but we weren't going to be caught, thanks to me. You see, I can forge almost anyone's handwriting and can do 80 different styles of writing so I got us all covered, family businesses... bla bla bla. A huge smile that would give a Cheshire cat a run for its money began to grace Kate and Andy faces and I'm pretty sure my face was any better, we had arrived.

* * *

><p><strong>Andy's POV<strong>

"Where on Earth are we?" Swan asked curiously.

"Only the best place in the world," Alex replied a smile gracing her tanned face.

"Montecco!" The three of us said simultaneously which was super creepy.

"Gahhhh, we're gonna have so much fun!" Screamed Kate with a smile so pretty, with those full pink lips... Argggggg! WHAT THE HELL? What am I thinking! I was about to give my mind a piece of me when I pulled in our 'house', it was possibly the most rundown cabin you have ever seen but it was ours and we all loved it with all our hearts.

"Alright, we've got to be quick," Alex said with a trace of urgentness. "We'll settle them and be on our way."

"What! You're just going to leave us here to fend for ourselves?" The Swann girl said in an incredulous voice.

"No, course not, we'll be back tomorrow and then we'll figure out how to get you back." Alex said soothingly.

"Hey, let's get them some food for the night," Kate reasoned. " we can eat out so they don't make too much of a mess when we go tomorrow and our parents drop us of, 'kay?"

"Good plan, we can go to Alfie's," Alex replied, her voice strained slightly because she was given the 'honour' of opening the house with the key which was harder then foot-racing with cheetahs, "wait, why am I opening it right now anyway? Let's go!"

**Alfie's Shack  
><strong>

Alfie's was a tiny beach shack that was owned by believe it or not Alfie, he was a hispanic man in his mid-thirties who was bald and almost always had a smile on his face show-casing rows of shining white teeth. The only person out of the three of us who desperately didn't want to go was me. Don't get me wrong, I liked _Alfie_, he was awesome. I didn't like a certain family member of his.

"Andy!" Squeled a annoyingly girlish voice, I groaned and swung around only to see the last person I wanted to see right now, or any time for that matter. Sandra. Alfie's spoilt, rich neice. She was the most annoying soul in the world. She had dyed blonde hair that fell to the small of her back and light brown eyes. She would have been quite pretty if not for the mountain of makeup on her that would give Lady Gaga a run for her money. And for some odd reason she seemed to think that we were meant to be together. Today she was wearing a skirt so short and slutty it should be illegal and a bikini top that was so skimpy that it gave me what would have been a _very_ pleasant scene except it was Sandra that was wearing it.

"Oh... Sandra, how nice to see you again." I said in a dull voice praying that she would get the hint and get the hell out of here.

She didn't.

"I missed you soooooo much," she simpered putting her arms around my neck.

It took all my will power not to puke. I was about to escape when help arrived! Kate squeezed in the middle of us pushed Sandra away and glared daggers at said person.

"Sandra, so nice to meet you again," Kate said in a voice that was dripping in sarcasm, "I don't know how things go in your planet, but out here, we get dressed in the mornings."

Sandra rolled her eyes, winked at me and then strutted away. Kate turned to me and scowled, then she walked away. Alex sighed, patted me on the shoulder then walked away. Elizabeth Swan muttered "Idiot" then went after them, leaving me with Will.

"What'd I do." I said desperately to Will. He raised his eye-brows as if to say "seriously?" He sighed.

"Well mate," He started,"I really would tell you, but the fact is that it isn't my secret to tell you, maybe in a few days time you will find out."

"What!" I whisper/yelled to him. "One of my best friends is mad at me, you know exactly why and you won't tell me!"

"Fine," He retaliated. "I'll give you a bit of a hint, I have have a friend, wait, no an acquaintance, yes and he has two girls who fancy him. One makes a show of it while the other one's affection is shown through things like jealousy, ring any bells, mate?"

No way, this would mean that _Kate_ had a crush on me! Me! I didn't care of Sandra, she was an obsessed slut, but Kate, possibly the most beautiful girl who ever graced the earth, the way her eyes light up when she smiled... ARGGH! NO NO NO! WHAT THE HELL AM I THINKING? If we ever chose to be more then friends (which would be awesome) it would ruin our friendship! I sucked in a breath and looked up to Will who was looking at me with an amused expression. I shook my head at him disbelievingly and jogged off to the girls who were chatting with Alfie happily.

"Hey guys,er, sorry for before." Now I didn't know what exactly I am apologizing for but, hey, they are girls, you do anything and you're expected to swallow your manly pride and apologize. Chicks.

Kate grinned at me and said, "why are you apologizing, it was Sandra's fault, any way, I was thinking of cheeseburgers for lunch?"

I smiled goofily, there's the Kate I know and loved, always getting over these things.

"Sure, I'm starved."

And with that the waiter brought the cheeseburgers and we dug in. By we I mean me, Alex and Kate. Will and Elizabeth just looked at them like they were some disgusting piece of brocoli with fungus growing on it.

"Erm... what in blazes are these?" Elizabeth asked.

The three of us exchanged looks, and silently agreed to question them tomorrow.

"Er... cheeseburgers," Alex said uncertainly. "Try 'em, they're really good..."

Will and Elizabeth uncertainly took a bite.

Now Will loved it, "These are possibly the best things I've ever tasted!"

But Elizabeth, "ergh, these taste oily and horrible!"

After Swan had choked it down and we had payed the bill _and_ escape Sandra we went back to the cabin, but this time I was given the key, _me_! What exactly have I done to deserve this? I don't know, but they obviously had pinned something on me so I had to spend eight minutes cranking the key in the lock, lucky me.

**Will's POV**

We stepped in the house to see a small kitchenette, and a few wooden sofas, the windows over-looked a most spectacular view of the sea, the whole place gave a sort of happy vibe.

"Alright," Turner(the other one) started looking towards me and Elizabeth, "listen up guys, our parents don't know we're here and the definately don't know about you two. And we'd love to keep it that way, so stay incognito for now, kay? That means when mom and dad drop us off, you guys hide upstairs. Got it? Awesome."

"Aye Aye captain." Elizabeth said, sarcasm laced in her voice.

"We've got to go," Morrison interrupted, He turned to me. "we'll see you tommorow, let's _go_!" he said to the girls pulling them to the carriage and then galloping off in the distance.

"Goodnight Will." Elizabeth said curtly. She walked upstairls and slammed the door behind her, I sighed, what the hell did I do this time? Arg, never mind, I'm sleepy. I dragged myself upstairs and opened the door only to find a stark naked Elizabeth!

"WILLIAM TURNER!"

"SORRY!" I said meekly, trying to get the beautiful image out of my head. I would think more but I've got a very angry Elizabeth chasing me with a weird looking cricket bat!


End file.
